Loosing while still here Part 2

When your name is RoadWolf it is self explaining. I am a Wolf that makes his living on the Road. So it goes. The road as much as my Mate, is my reason for life. The Road makes sense, My Mate brings me peace and a reason to go home. On the road again to earn for the house(my pack) is harder than ever. Today I actually regret my life out here. WHY? Because I should be at the feet of my mate waiting. Torn between earning the living that is keeping the Den going and fed, and being home 24/7 to be there for him. A friend of ours came to us to live and became part of our pack. Without his help,love for both of us, and his Wolf like nature, keeping my mate home would not have been possible.
Today was the hardest. Seven hours from home and He calls to tell me final stages are beginning. Glassy Eyes, loosing of coordination, and so on. A while ago I buried my emotions deep so they would not interfere with what needed to be done. Harder and harder it is to keep them at bay. My Dispatcher new something was wrong when he offered me a 6 day trip, and I replied "NO more ling Trips for a while". He asked how bad? MY reply told him all he needed. I need to be home! When I return I will sleep in his room on the floor, so I am close to him as I can be to a hosiptal bed, and because I feel better on the floor anyway. THe transition has begun and I for the first time in twelve years, have to deal with I am going to loose him. His spirit is fighting, but I know better...this time.
The only road I seek now is the one home. Having faced this before for friends, I truly have no idea how to face this.